Stop waiting for something to happen
Most mornings I wake up with a spring in my step. I bounce out of bed at an ungodly hour because I know I can start my day with a little bit of ‘me’ time. The kids (usually) don’t wake up until 6 or so, which means I have an hour to have a coffee in peace, do some writing and plan out my day. I’m a morning person so this suits me.
The morning routine here is manic. It often feels as if I spend the time between 7 and 8:30 repeating myself but it falls on deaf ears. “Get dressed” or “brush your teeth” can be uttered umpteen times before either task is actually achieved.
After the little one heads off to school, things settle down a little but most days are generally busy. I like it that way. I fill my time with tasks and activities because I operate better with a to-do list. Sometimes I have to remind myself to slow down a little and take just ‘be’. It’s important to stop and smell the roses. Literally.
I’ve realised recently that I seem to be waiting for something to happen. I’m not even sure what that thing is, but I’m living my life waiting for the ‘next big thing’.
That’s no way to live.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my crazy little household, filled with a constant stream of visitors and smiling faces. When we made our tree change a little over 5 years ago, we chose a house that would accommodate lots of sleepover guests. Living 3 hours from family and friends has actually brought us closer despite the distance. Now, instead of a quick lunch in a loud and busy cafe, we have people nearly every weekend of the year (I kid you not) who come and stay in our little piece of paradise. When they arrive, you can see the stress of the city melt away as they pour the first glass of wine and watch their children run amok in the yard. We’ll often spend 2 solid days together as opposed to a monthly catch up for an hour over lunch. It’s quality time.
I really enjoy these relaxed gatherings: but I’m still thinking in the back of my mind that ‘something’ is going to happen.
I’m quite introspective and I’m definitely a card-carrying member of over-thinkers anonymous. I’ve been trying to work out what it is that I’m waiting for because I feel like I’m missing the here and now.
If you’re always looking forward, aren’t you failing to see what’s right in front of you?
So why am I still waiting? What am I waiting for?
It feels as if I’ve been living in recent years with a view to the future without seeing the present. It’s important to work towards something; there’s no doubt about that. However at what cost?
So today, I’m going to make this promise to my family:
I am going to live for today. I am going to be present.